I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
