You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
