Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
