Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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