I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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