Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
