defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
