wanna go halves on a baby?
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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