This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize