Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Randomize
