Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
