Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
