It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
