White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
