That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
he shaved USA in his pubs
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Enjoy the penises
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
