Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
