just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
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