My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
