oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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