careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Randomize