Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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