I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Randomize
