They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
