Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
