How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
