That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Randomize
