It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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