He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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