I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
