Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
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