so explain again why im purple
no
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
