I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
