I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
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