i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
