We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Randomize
