you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Randomize
