i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
