I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
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