we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
