Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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