he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Randomize
