I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
