It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
