He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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