I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I just gift wrapped bread.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Randomize