Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
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