Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize