I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
i dont even know how to be here
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Drake has all the answers
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Randomize
