he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
