Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
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