It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
