4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize