Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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