so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
