I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Randomize
