I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
