I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
