dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
the raccoons are back...
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
