you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
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