i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
