Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Randomize
