Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
