the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Randomize