I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
