Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Let's get the cat blown out
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
