maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
