capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
