capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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