Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
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