Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Randomize
