im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
