I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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