HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Alive.
So much puke
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
