Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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