We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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