Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
