no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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