I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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