I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
